Keep a patient and understanding attitude. Show them the same kindness that you’d want other people to show you if you were at your wits’ end. Never shout at, scold, or punish an autistic person for being upset. They aren’t doing this on purpose, and being unkind will only make it worse. If you can’t control yourself, it’s better to leave than to make the situation worse.

During severe sensory overload, people who are ordinarily verbal may suddenly lose the ability to speak. This is due to severe overstimulation and will pass with relaxation time. If someone has lost the ability to speak, ask only yes/no questions that they can answer with thumbs up/thumbs down.

If they can’t speak right now, let them answer with a thumbs up/thumbs down. Or you can say “Do you want me to stay or leave?” and point at the ground and at the door, and then let them point to where they want you to be. If a small child wants to be left alone, you can sit across the room and do something quiet (like playing on your phone or reading a book) so there is still an adult present. [4] X Research source

If they’re tugging at uncomfortable clothing, offer to help them remove it. [5] X Research source (Don’t try to remove clothes without permission, as this can be startling and upsetting. ) If they’re trying to drink from the sink, get a cup for them.

If they are throwing things, it might be that the throwing motion calms them down. Try giving them something that can be thrown safely (like a throw pillow). Let them throw it, and then retrieve it so they can throw it again. This can calm them. If you don’t feel safe getting close to them, then don’t. Let them continue until they calm down and wear themselves out.

Police are not usually trained to help with autistic meltdowns, and they may worsen the situation or hurt your autistic loved one. Instead, get someone who the autistic person knows and trusts.

Turn off distracting devices like TVs or radios (unless the autistic person tells you that they want it on). Try dimming the lights. Let them hide in small places if they want. For example, if they want to hide in a closet or shut themselves into a cupboard with their phone, let them. (Just make sure that they can get out on their own. )

You can offer a hug by spreading your arms and seeing if they come to you. If you hug them, and they stiffen or push away, let them go. Maybe they aren’t able to handle the sensory input of hugging right now, or maybe your clothes have a texture that’s uncomfortable to them. [8] X Research source

They may direct you to areas that they want you to touch, such as by pointing at their shoulders or squeezing their face.

If they are hurting themselves, see if you can redirect them to doing something safer (like hitting couch cushions instead of their head). Don’t restrain them, no matter what they are doing. [10] X Trustworthy Source Child Mind Institute Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families Go to source Grabbing and holding an autistic person against their will is dangerous, especially when the person is in fight-or-flight mode. Both of you could get seriously hurt during the autistic person’s attempts to break free.

Alternatively give the person a weighted blanket to use for calming deep pressure. [12] X Expert Source Hilya Tehrani, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.

Sensory grounding: Have them name 5 things they can see right now, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell (or that they like to smell in general), and 1 good thing about themselves. Count off on your fingers. Box breathing: Have them breathe in for a count of 4, hold it for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, rest for a count of 4, and repeat.

“I’m here to listen if you’d like to talk about it. " “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. " “I’m sorry to hear that that happened to you. " “That sounds difficult. " “Of course you’re upset. You’re in a really tough situation. It’s natural to be stressed about that. "

Try saying “It’s okay to cry” or “Cry all you need to. I’m here. "

What’s most calming can be different depending on the situation. So if they decline a hug in favor of listening to their favorite music and rocking back and forth, don’t take it personally. They know what they need right now.