Similarly, if he usually sticks to a set routine of going to the gym in the morning or heading home from the office by 5, but he is now sleeping in or staying at the office late, these adjustments in his daily schedule could hint at time spent elsewhere, possibly in the company of someone else. [2] X Research source
Your partner may also lose interest in domestic activities like spending time with the kids, fixing up the house, mowing the lawn, etc. He may also spend more time on his phone texting or on the computer in private chat rooms or social media pages. If his phone or computer use goes up dramatically or if he becomes secretive about his phone or computer use, this may be a red flag. [3] X Research source
You may start wondering where he learned a certain sexual move or what caused him to develop a certain preference in bed. One possible reason is he may be trying out new moves with someone else. He may also have a lower sex drive or spurn off your attempts at being intimate with excuses like “I’m tired,” or “Maybe another night. ”
Changes in his normal behavior that involve anger towards you could in fact be a reflection of his guilt for cheating or fear that you may find out about his affair.
It’s important to remember that your boyfriend’s inner turmoil has nothing to do with you and is a reflection of his own anxieties and fears. Try not to take his anger towards you personal or put pressure on yourself to try to make him forgive you or feel better, as this could also mean he is actually feeling guilty about an affair.
A cheating spouse is likely to change their story, question your memory or deny your accusations, so keeping a record of their activity is critical.
Keep in mind that once he knows you’re suspicious of his behavior, he might work overtime to cover his tracks. If so, you’ll need to be more vigilant and work harder to get evidence of his cheating.
If you can get your hands on his cell phone bill (on paper or online), you can look at every call made for that month, which will give you a chance to check for any long conversations at odd times, or lots of calls to one particular number that you don’t recognize. You can also try to check his phone messages and voicemail, though this may be an easy way to get caught snooping around. A good time to check his phone is when he is in the shower or out for a walk and has placed it on the charger. [10] X Research source If your boyfriend tends to misplace his phone, another thing you can do is simply take it and let him assume he lost it. This way you can see who is calling or texting him on a daily basis.
This may be a sign he is trying to limit your access to his computer and hiding something on his hard drive or browser history. Try to get access to the computer when he is out and check the hard drive for hidden folders with images of other girls or partners, as well as love notes. See How to Find Hidden Files and Folders in Windows for how to do this.
Some cheating partners may be using cheating websites like meet2cheat or ihookup[12] X Research source . Search the computer’s browser history to see if he has visited any of these cheating sites. Some cheaters may also create different Facebook profiles to then find other people online to message or meet up with and have an affair. So check if he bookmarked or viewed any Facebook profiles or pages multiple times. [13] X Research source You can also search for your spouse’s hidden online profiles using a service like Spokeo or Rapleaf. [14] X Research source There are websites that set out to expose “liars, cheats, and bastards” by posting stories about cheating men as warnings to others about a bad spouse. [15] X Research source
Examine any physical evidence of cheating closely to make sure you are not misinterpreting a note or item that may have sentimental, rather than romantic value. Just because he kept his ex girlfriend’s picture or his first love’s note doesn’t necessarily mean he is cheating on you. It’s important to get solid evidence of his cheating before you confront him, so look at any notes, gifts, or photographs with a discerning eye. [16] X Research source
These types of programs can record information like passwords, emails typed, pages visited, or even record a video of the screen as your boyfriend uses the computer. Keep in mind, however, that many of these types of spyware are highly illegal, so be very careful when downloading them. Also, a watchful boyfriend can find a key logger or screen recorder, so download a high-end logger that keeps its files hidden and under password. Some of these can still be found, but with great difficulty. However, some spyware can be made completely invisible both to the user and to the operating system. You probably won’t need this last option unless your boyfriend is a professional computer engineer or a professional hacker. [18] X Research source
The “Find Your Phone” app can also be used to “Find Your Cheating Boyfriend”. If you have access to your boyfriend’s iCloud, you can log in and watch his phone move in real time right into the immediate proximity of someone else. [20] X Research source
You could also bait your boyfriend by using the fake account to friend him on Facebook. You could then start flirting with him over a period of time and see how he responds to you. If he starts sending your fake profile naked pictures or inquire about a meet up at a hotel, he is clearly not being monogamous with you.
Keep in mind this is also the riskiest option as it involves lying convincingly to your partner and then staking out his movements until he slips up.
If you are in a long term relationship where your finances are tied or if you are married, so your finances are legally bound, it’s a good idea to hire a PI. Look for a PI that specializes in infidelity investigations.
