Don’t pressure or guilt your spouse into getting treatment and support. Instead, tell your partner that they deserve support. [2] X Research source
For example, people who self-harm do so with the intent to inflict pain yet not kill themselves. It’s a way to express difficult feelings, punish oneself, or show distress. [4] X Research source
Any threats that might be serious should be taken seriously.
Offer any assistance you can give. For example, offer to drive them to appointments or help them get through especially difficult days by talking with them or giving them a hug. Let your spouse know that you are not there to judge them or look down on them. You want what is best for them, and you will support them in any way you can. If your spouse does not initially accept your offer to help, do not push them. Those who self-harm may feel guilt or shame regarding their actions, and may not be prepared to open themselves up and be vulnerable about their situation.
Remind your partner that even if they don’t want to talk now, you’ll be there for them should the need ever arise.
Perhaps you take responsibility for increasing your spouse’s stress or problems. This might be true, but you have not caused them to self-harm.
If you’re struggling with your own intense emotions, take a break from talking to your spouse. Go on a walk or say that you need a moment before interacting.
Spend time with your spouse doing something that you enjoy together and remind yourself that you can still have fun and enjoy each other together. Go to a movie or take a hike that you both enjoy.
For example, if your spouse feels overwhelmed with taking care of the children or works tireless hours away from home, set aside time once a week where it’s just the two of you doing something enjoyable together. Get a babysitter, make dinner plans, or buy tickets to see a movie.
Even if there is no predictable stress trigger, it may help your spouse maintain overall calm and mental balance when you offer to take on some stressful activities.
Don’t ignore your own needs and wants. You might feel guilty for taking a night to be with friends or family, but remember that it’s important for you to take care of yourself.
Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or by calling a local mental health clinic. You can also get a recommendation from a physician, friend, or family member.
Take the dog on a walk together, complete a puzzle, or go to the gym together.
Find relaxation methods that feel good and that you want to do every day. Try daily yoga, qi gong, tai chi, or meditation.
