Do you get frustrated when you are forced to wait and do nothing? For example, traffic jams or waiting in a check-out line. Do you get frustrated when people do not meet your personal expectations or disrupt your work? For instance, someone sending you a text or email that throws off your day. Do you get frustrated with difficult problems? For instance, does difficult homework tend to provoke an outburst?
For example, keep your phone on silent when you need to work without disruption or get up and take a break from a difficult work or school assignment if you can feel it building toward an outbreak of frustration. If you simply cannot avoid the trigger, try your best to realize that triggers are themselves thought patterns that you can choose to allow or not despite how hard it is to change them. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Once triggered, take time to think rather than reacting impulsively.
Accept the limitations of others. For instance, say you have a friend who is always late for everything but is otherwise a great friend. Manage your expectation by realizing that you simply cannot make your friend show up on time, but you can control what you invite her to. If you know that punctuality is one of your triggers, then avoid putting her in situations where promptness is an issue. Cultivate your own self-sufficiency. Feeling helpless may be overcome by setting and working on goals in whatever may be important to you. So, is your frustration due to something you could take on yourself as a short term goal? For example, if you are frustrated with how your roommate doesn’t take out the trash though previously agreed, maybe you should just take it out yourself rather than simmer in hostility. Then ask the other person to do a different chore instead. Avoid perfectionism in dealing with people. People can be frustrating when they do not act consistently. But that is simply being human - humans are not robots or computers. That can be disappointing, but accepting that the other is not perfect, (and neither are you) is important in dealing with people.
Are things really as I perceive them? What might I be missing here? Will what happened now matter in a day? A week? A year? Can I express my concerns without hostility? Is there information I am trying to share? Am I as interested in seeing the situation clearly as I am in my own reaction or being “right”? Am I interested in the other person’s needs? Can we cooperate?
For instance, say you’re saving for a new car but have to take some money from the fund to fix your current car. Instead of fixating on not getting the new vehicle when you’d want, remind yourself that it will only set you back a month or two and that you will overcome the obstacle.
Setting a goal for training or eduction requires action/starting. You may apply and start at a community college and transfer to a 4-year college if that will work for you plan. Saving to buy a better “cash-car” can answer needs, but now and then you have to take some money from the fund for upkeep on your older car. Instead of worrying about not using all your savings for the newer vehicle, tell yourself that it will only take a month or two to catch up to your savings goal. Working on goals for lifestyle-routine can buoy you from a sunken feeling, even developing new hobbies can help with long-standing frustration. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Institute of Stress Non-profit organization providing resources on stress-management in education, research, clinical care, and the workplace. Go to source If you’re having trouble allowing yourself to indulge in a hobby rather than work all the time, choose something that has a pragmatic side, such as learning how to make your own bread, soap, clothing, etc. You may find inner/intangible as well as real-world benefits in learning to master one or more of them. [9] X Research source Fields, Rick. (1984). Chop Wood, Carry Water: A Guide to Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Everyday Life
If you aren’t able to take an exercise break while working on a frustrating task, take a shorter break to practice deep breathing or meditation instead.
Remove needless distractions. Whether you are easily distracted, or tend to distract yourself to put off doing a task, take charge of your attention. Turn off your phone, other electronic devices, or the internet, unless required for the specific task you are working on. Clear your work area of all unnecessary items. Set your own reasonable, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, semester and yearly goals, and even mini-deadlines for some personal rewards. Getting through with unpleasant or difficult tasks can strengthen your motivation to turn that success to say" “Now, I’ll work hard on my own goals”. Add additional reasons to get going, with a positive spin, by rewarding yourself with a healthy snack, good entertainment, or other reward on the condition that you meet a mini-deadline within the hour, or by the end of the day.
Stay focused on the steps of one task/idea at a time. Stop multitasking/lacking focus on your present effort. Multitasking almost always makes each task more difficult and easier to avoid, even if you personally think you are good at it. [15] X Research source Instead of working on two tasks concurrently, alternate between them if they’re frustrating. Consider alternating between “competing” projects to avoid hitting a wall of frustration while staying productive on both. Spend thirty to sixty minutes on each one with five-minute breaks in between. If your job is causing severe stress and frustration, consider a vacation, take a sabbatical, or even look into changing jobs.
Be careful of comparing life to media. In movies and TV, plots are often clear, and easily wrapped up by the credits. Everyone tends to be young, gorgeous, and glamorous. But in real life, rarely if ever is this the case. If you are spending a lot of time consuming media, you will likely get a very skewed sense of the world. Ask others about their struggles in life. The best mirror of reality tends to be friends, family, and peers. Their struggles–jobs, school, romances, family–are likely similar to yours. By talking to them about goals, progress, barriers, and overcoming them, you can get a sense that others are in a similar situation. This can help produce a clearer reality.
Thinking about what could have happened or what you wish your life was like. [16] X Research source Spending hours on a task that is neither enjoyable or productive, such as watching a television show you don’t like. Sitting and doing nothing at all.
Try to agree with the person at the outset that you’ll both stay focused on the issue at hand.
For instance, if you’re having a relationship fight, make it a point not to interrupt the person. Allow him or her to finish a point before responding and consider your response rather than going with your gut reaction.
For instance, if a friend says that you never make time for her, repeat it back and ask, “Do you really think that I never make time for you?” This can allow the friend to hear the complaint as you did.
Avoid passive-aggressive behavior, such as hiding your real emotions or insulting someone behind his or her back. Avoid sarcasm or insults during this discussion, even as a joke.
For example, don’t say, ”You never take out the trash!” Instead try, “You take out the trash less often than we agreed. ”
If you’re frustrated that the friend hasn’t repaid a debt, for instance, see if you can compromise with a payment plan rather than just simply being frustrated that you can’t get all of the money back at once.
Using the same example of frustration over a friend owing you money, tell the friend how much it means that he has agreed to a payment plan or even agreed to sit down and talk about it again when he might be able to enter a payment agreement. By validating the friend’s effort, you’re more likely to see future cooperation.
