Maybe you are worried that you will experience anxiety after leaving your partner. Ask a close friend to be “on call” if you need someone to talk to. If you are worried that you will miss practical things, such as having someone to make your morning coffee, think about how you will adjust. For example, maybe you can start treating yourself to a to-go coffee on the way to work. Make a list of all of the ways that you will need to adjust. Then make a list of all of the possible solutions you can find.
Use “I feel” and “I want” statements to assertively and compassionately describe what you need and why you’re moving on. Listen to the other person’s feelings. If you love this person, you should respect him enough to hear their point of view. Allow both of you time to heal. You will likely both need time to grieve the end of the relationship.
Talking to people who are in a similar situation can be very soothing. Look for a group near you. Maybe your spouse is leaving for a long military deployment. There are groups that specialize in supporting you through that difficult transition. Ask your doctor for a recommendation. Hospitals often have a wide variety of support groups that they host.
Although ending a relationship is hard, there are some positive aspects. For example, being on your own can lead to personal growth. You will likely feel an increased sense of independence and freedom. Take advantage of being able to focus on your own needs and wants. For example, if you feel like having popcorn for dinner and watching several hours of reality tv, you can now do that without worrying about anyone else.
It’s important to realize that you can leave someone but still love them. Acknowledge the powerful bond that you have. You can honor the love that you have. But you should also understand that love is not always enough to make a relationship last. Maybe you need to leave because you have a job opportunity far away. Or perhaps you are just incompatible. It is ok to still love someone, but feel the need to move on.
Ask for his honest opinion. Try saying, “I know our relationship won’t be continuing as we’re used to, but I would like to stay in your life as a friend. " Don’t expect to make the transition immediately. Give yourselves time to adjust. Avoid contact for 1-2 months. Then gradually begin communicating with each other.
Spend some time looking for new “favorites”. What better reason to try all of the pizza places in your new neighborhood? Exploring your new city will help you to feel more at home. The better you know your way around, the more comfortable you will feel. Even if you haven’t moved, you can still explore. Challenge yourself to venture out to a new coffee shop or try a new gym. You might meet some new friends.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to acclimate to your new routine too quickly. Take some time to think about what sorts of positive changes you could make in your life.
Find a new activity. You could look for a book club that meets in your area. Look for a way to get involved in the community. Consider volunteering at a local animal shelter if you’re a pet lover. Getting involved in new activities will help you meet new people. They won’t replace the ones you miss, but they can certainly help you feel less lonely.
When you are feeling lonely, that is a great time to reach out to your friends. A few minutes laughing on the phone can make you feel much more cheerful. Be active. Take a walk when you are feeling low. Physical exercise and being outdoors can lift your spirits.
Make your relationships a priority. Schedule plenty of quality time with your friends before the move. Have fun together. You’re likely feeling sad, and that’s ok. But try to participate in the activities that you enjoy. If you and your best friend have always enjoyed going dancing together, don’t stop. Keep your dance dates up until the time you have to leave. Have an honest conversation. Tell your loved one that you are going to miss them. Try saying, “Mom, I’m really going to miss you when I leave for college. I just wanted to let you know that. "
Get on a friends and family cell phone plan. You’ll be able to text and call as much as you want without worrying about your minutes. Schedule video chat dates. Are you worried you’re going to miss impromptu dance parties with your best friend? Just Facetime her whenever your favorite song comes on. Use technology. Stay connected with social media. This is the perfect time to finally convince your grandmother to get a Facebook account.
Sit down together with your calendars. If you have a group of friends that you are going to miss, invite everyone over for a planning party. Select a couple of dates that work for everyone. You can have fun deciding when you will visit, and when your friends will come check out your new home. If you are leaving for college, check out the campus calendar. Let your parents know when parents weekend is, and invite them to come.
Include items that remind you of fun times you had together. For example, if you loved going to yoga together, send your friend a gift card to your favorite studio. You can also include items that are homemade. Make a batch of your dad’s favorite cookies to send to him. Be creative. If you’re thinking of fun times you had at the beach, send a little plastic baggy of sand from the shore.
