If you’re able, you might even want to leave the room for a few minutes or take a walk around the block to calm down. [2] X Expert Source Kirsten Thompson, MDBoard Certified Psychiatrist Expert Interview. 18 August 2021. While you’re doing this, try thinking about why what they’re doing bothers you so much. That way, you’ll be able to communicate with them more clearly once you’re feeling calmer. [3] X Expert Source Kirsten Thompson, MDBoard Certified Psychiatrist Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.

For example, you might say something like, “Joe, can you please stop making that sound? It’s really getting on my nerves. ” Or you might say, “Gina, stop teasing me about my braces. Lots of people have braces. It’s really not a big deal. ”

For example, if your cousin says your new outfit is ugly, laugh at the comment and respond with something like, “Sure, okay, Charlotte. ” Then, go about your business and act like their comment didn’t bother you. This can be hard to do sometimes, especially if their words actually hurt your feelings. It’s okay to feel upset and if you can’t bring yourself to laugh because your feelings are hurt, go to an adult and tell them what happened.

For example, you might say, “Mom, Charlie keeps making fun of my hair and I’ve asked him nicely to stop. ” Or you might say, “Uncle Dave, can you please ask Juliet to stop tickling me?”

For example, you might tell yourself, “Sarah teasing me is not because of anything I did. She’s just being mean and it’s not my fault. ” Keep in mind that you are not to blame for the things your cousin says or does, even if they try to tell you that you are.

For example, you might say something like, “I get frustrated when you make comments about my size, so please don’t do that any more. ” Or, you might say, “I feel like you’re not listening when you keep interrupting me. ”

For example, you might tell your cousin something like, “Stop trying to guilt me into helping you with your homework. I’ve already told you I have plans after school, so I can’t help you. ” Or if they’re threatening you, you might say, “Threatening me won’t change my mind, so don’t bother. ”

For example, if your cousin keeps pestering you to do their homework for them, they might be feeling frustrated because they don’t understand it and they might not have anyone else who is willing to help them. If your cousin is physically abusive towards you, this might be due to how their parents or an older sibling treats them. It doesn’t make it okay, but looking at it this way may help you to feel less upset about it.

For example, instead of asking your cousin, “Can you please help me clean up the living room?” say something like, “We need to clean up the living room because my parents will be home soon and they asked us to clean up. ” Or, instead of saying, “Can you stop playing that song over and over?” you might say, “I need you to stop playing that song on repeat because it’s very annoying. ”

For example, if your cousin asks you a question you don’t want to answer, you could smile and say something like, “So, how was your day?” If they don’t take the hint and try to ask again, you might need to tell them directly, such as by saying, “I’m not comfortable answering that. ”

For example, if you have a cousin who frequently makes rude comments or who complains a lot, then expect them to be at their worst. This way, if your cousin happens to say only a few rude things or is in a slightly better mood, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

To make the visualization stronger, imagine the color of the shield, its shape, and any special features on it, such as a design or spikes. Visualization takes some practice, but over time you’ll get better and better at letting your cousin’s comments bounce off your shield.

“Janice, you’re mean and you tease me often, and that hurts my feelings. But I accept that this is who you are and that I will feel upset sometimes when I’m around you. ” Repeat this mantra to yourself whenever you are having a hard time being around your cousin.

For example, if you’re spending the day at home with your cousin, excuse yourself to go to the restroom whenever you need a break.

For example, eat a healthy meal or snack before you spend time with your cousin to ensure that you aren’t hungry. [19] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source If you anticipate a difficult time with your cousin, try doing something special for yourself, such as reading a chapter of your favorite book, watching an episode of a favorite TV show, or playing with your favorite toy.