Say something like, “Hi there! I’m in a rush and can’t chat. Catch up with you later!” With any luck, they’ll take the hint after you do this a couple of times.
Try saying, “Well, I’m running late for an appointment. Have a good one!” Other excuses could be a lunch or dinner date, work, or meeting your workout partner. If you’re entering your home, you could say, “I have to start dinner,” or “I have piles of laundry (or another chore) to do. ” You could always just leave it vague and say, “I just noticed the time - I have to run!”
If you don’t like them dropping by unannounced, you can also tell them politely, “It’s really best to call or set something up instead of popping in. ”
You might feel the urge to just be nice and spare their feelings, but letting tensions mount could result in a bigger issue in the future. Further, if you lead them to believe their behavior is fine, you’ll end up hurting their feelings more when you finally make your feelings known.
Try saying, “You are a warm, nice person. I know you’re being friendly, and I hope you don’t find me rude, but I’m just not very social. ” If you’d like, you could add something like, “My schedule is just so tight right now, and I have so many responsibilities to juggle. I find our chats pleasant, but they always seem to make me run late!”
In any case, make sure you and your spouse or roommate are a united front. Sending mixed signals will only aggravate the situation. For example, if your neighbor follows you to your door and tries to come in, you could say, “My roommate and I have a ‘call ahead’ policy — we really don’t like people dropping by. ”
Try saying, “I’ve become close with neighbors in the past, but ended up having a terrible disagreement that’s made me wary of getting too close to my neighbors. I hope you aren’t insulted, and I mean no offense, but I think it’s best to keep some boundaries. ”
If they start putting someone down, try changing the subject or find an excuse to leave. If they ask you about your business or for your opinion on someone else, just let them know you’re not friendly enough with them to share your or anyone else’s secrets. Calmly say, “I really don’t like talking badly about other people, especially neighbors. ”
Suppose your neighbor starts bringing over food every few days, and you’re tired of it. Tell them, “You know, I really have to start making my own food! I just can’t accept any more of yours. ” You could try to be polite and say, “I don’t want to put you out or burden you. ” If they persist, respond by saying, “I really hate to say it, but it’ll probably just go to waste. I really appreciate it, but we don’t eat many sweets (or whichever items they prepare). ” You could also try suggesting a local charity, like a religious organization or soup kitchen, that would welcome their baking or cooking skills.
Look them in the eye, stand up straight, and do your best to project confidence. Calmly and assertively say, “I don’t feel comfortable with being touched like that. ” There’s no need to make excuses for them or apologize, but you can gauge your response based on your level of discomfort. If your neighbor touches your shoulder, and it’s annoying but you don’t find it threatening, politely tell them to stop. If they touch you in way you feel is inappropriate, tell them their action is harassment, and don’t hesitate to notify authorities if they persist.
First, contact your property manager or homeowner’s association. They can help mediate the situation before it escalates. If you believe you’re in immediate danger, call the police or emergency services.
Describe your situation to your property manager. Ask them, “Are there any available apartments on another floor or in a building on the other side of the complex?” Be sure to ask them to waive security deposits and other fees, since you’re an existing resident relocating due to an issue that’s out of your control.
