Total denial is usually not received well by parents and other authority figures once punishment has already been assigned, so you should avoid denial.
Your apologies must be sincere. If someone is hurt by something you did, an insincere apology will only further strain your relationship. You may have a hard time organizing your thoughts in an emotional apology, so it’s a good idea to write it out. Having a written apology may also show you put a lot of thought into it, conveying your sincerity. Apologizing has the opportunity to maybe not make things right, but it demonstrates accountability for you actions and then willingness to learn and grow from your mistakes. If you really don’t feel you can apologize in person, try writing it in a card.
Doing this will show you are responsible and might even get you out of trouble a little sooner.
Whole messages can be communicated with a simple formula: statement of fact (usually a description of an act) + your interpretation of what that fact means + how your interpretation makes you feel + how you would like the issue to be resolved. For example, “When you take my things without permission, I think you don’t respect me or my belongings, which makes me feel angry. I will feel more comfortable with you borrowing my things, if we discuss it before you take them. "
Developing a healthy lifestyle may also help you stay out of trouble in the future.
If your lifestyle was previously very sedentary, you should design workouts to get progressively more difficult over time. Starting out easy and building up to more vigorous exercise will help prevent injury. [4] X Trustworthy Source American Heart Association Leading nonprofit that funds medical research and public education Go to source Physical activity can also help you manage feelings of depression and anxiety. Exercise releases endorphins, natural mood-boosting chemicals produced by your brain. [5] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Exercise can also help you release anger in a helpful way, which can be helpful if you’re feeling upset about being in trouble. [6] X Research source
Try creating a study schedule to keep you on track even after you are no longer in trouble. Use a calendar to block out time to study specific subjects each week. [7] X Research source You can also schedule specific household chores. Tackling projects one at a time will actually help you finish them all in a more timely manner.
For example, imagine that you’re in trouble because you dented your parents’ car due to careless driving. You could choose to beat yourself up about it and think “I’m such a loser. " This is unhelpful because it doesn’t focus on what you can learn from the experience. It also unfairly generalizes about you based on one specific event. Instead, you could acknowledge that you made a mistake, accept that making mistakes is part of being human, and focus on what you can do to avoid a similar situation next time: “When I earn back the privilege of using the car, I will look more carefully when I’m in parking lots and won’t drive so fast. " Remind yourself that painful experiences and thoughts are part of living, and everyone experiences them. Understanding that you share common humanity with others can help you be more compassionate towards everyone, including yourself. It can also help you distance yourself from them, because suddenly you’re not the only person in the world this has ever happened to.
For example, recognize that you don’t have to follow the crowd to be “cool. " Cool is whatever you define it to be. Perhaps for you, being “cool” means expressing yourself artistically, or getting involved in a team sport. It can help to spend a little time thinking about your values. For example, what feels most important to you? If you could change one thing about your community, what would it be? What traits or characteristics do you really admire in others? Remember that your values are yours, and thus your self-worth isn’t dependent on what others value. Values aren’t superior or inferior; they’re just different.
Instead of making generalizations, focus on the single event or experience that’s prompted that feeling. In this case, it’s probably whatever you did to get yourself in trouble. Acknowledge that mistake, but don’t allow it to define you. Instead, focus on your future: “I made a bad decision about drinking underage. I regret that choice. I can learn from it to help me avoid giving in to peer pressure in the future. I will follow my own values. " Watch for all-or-nothing thinking, too. This can be extremely demotivating, especially if you’re having trouble with schoolwork. For example, you might do poorly on a quiz and think, “Well, I’m just going to fail this class, that’s all there is to it. " Instead, recognize that this is a single event in a larger experience. There are things you can do to help you improve your performance: get tutoring, ask your parents for help with homework, talk to your teacher, watch some YouTube videos explaining the concept. Focus on solutions, rather than allowing the problem to paralyze you.
You can find lots of volunteering opportunities online. [9] X Research source
If standard novels just aren’t for you, consider graphic novels. [10] X Research source You may not want to start out with heavy reading because it can be overwhelming. Go for shorter, easier reads until you figure out your reading preferences. You can also find resources online to help choose the best books for you. [11] X Research source
Art can be done alone and often requires few supplies, so you can usually do it without violating the terms of your punishment.
Try creating your own recipes or adding a twist to your family’s favorite meal.
If you find you enjoy working in the garden, you might consider trying to grow some of your own fruits and vegetables. This will reap financial and health benefits in addition to contributing to the aesthetics of your home.
This may even become beneficial in future career development. Bilingual job applicants are often more desirable to employers and command higher starting salaries.
